spring is on the way

March 20, 2008 at 11:21 am (beginnings, magic)

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spring is coming. i can see it in the way the light is shifting. i love it when the earth explodes back into color.

we’ve had the flu at my house. what a nightmare! the tots would just sit and cry a cry i never heard before. it’s the sick cry of a body aching and tired and sweaty. it’s as if they knew there was no way out of it.

we’re still on the tail end of it which means a lot of sleep interruptions and restlessness.

still i see the life force churning and turning behind the scenes as spring begins her descent. i can even smell the lovely earth waking up as little bulbs push through.

what a relief!

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crystal ball

January 1, 2008 at 5:30 pm (beginnings, grace, reflection, simplicity, wealth)

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i wish i had a crystal ball and could see what lies ahead. some things i know…the children will grow, the seasons will shift, i will work and continue to push ahead.

i hope i can start to pull away from the financial stress that keeps me up at night. i hope my husband and i can grow closer and live more harmoniously. i hope that i continue to grow spiritually.

i want to fall in love with the life i’m living. i’ve made progress. i want to be creative and dynamic and find new ways of approaching old problems. i want to be of good health and want the same for my family and friends. i want to experience more DIVINITY in my day to day dealings.

sometimes i feel like i was born at the wrong time. the world we’re in is stimulating and intense and overwhelming. i long for simplicity. after pondering for a long time, i realize that simplicity is an inner state. no amount of organizing and cleaning and downsizing can get me to that place of peace. i think too, that simplicity for me may require a degree of surrender to what is.

surrender is tough. i’m a fighter!

so…if i had a crystal ball, this is what i hope my forecast would be:

KEEP ON GOING…face life squarely, no more drifting off to sleep in a fantasy, you’re on the right track and whatever challenges come up, you have the resources to overcome. life is wondrous and magical and fantastic. SHOW UP WITH LOVE. you are doing a great job…

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reflections

December 26, 2007 at 10:26 pm (beginnings, destruction, divine feminine, exploration, magic)

the tempest

hmmmm, the launch of my secret blog…the place to confess, repent, reflect.

being a woman is being inherently flawed. to be precise…being human is being inherently flawed…or is it?

the thing about femininity i find difficult is the body, the sensuality, the madness, the desire to love and spawn and contain. none of this has felt natural to me and yet i’ve done it.

i’ve loved the wrong people and loved doing it. i’ve had way too much to drink and smoke. i’m driven by impulses to be destructive toward myself and others. i’ve relished the loss of reputation.

and so it begins…

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welcome

December 26, 2007 at 9:18 pm (beginnings, exploration, mystery, passion, reflection)

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my new space for ultra-self-indulgent drivel.

so luscious…

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